Author

Kate Gillie

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Anger gives you WINGS

There is a magical power in anger.  It pulsates, throbs in my veins.  I feel so strong, powerful and I could strangle you with my pinkie. “What is this I’m feeling?  It’s like I can fly.  Not fly.  Punch.  Holes in the universe.  What’s going on?” Literally this is what I asked my therapist as she unbuttoned the lid that was keeping me locked in my own personal hell.  The place I’d been in since childhood, as the machine guns fired and the screams echoed, I had remained static: numb.  This feeling that came from somewhere I had no idea I possessed gave me a strength I equally did not know I possessed.  It ripped through my body and brain like an electric charge, filling my mind with an energy that seemed to be at once dangerous and beautiful. Anger. Rage. Anger gives us the ability to cope with life’s…

Sharing with PTSD Peers: the how to and managing other’s triggers

Share your story. Talk about it. It will reduce the hold it has on you. On and on it goes, with everybody poking at you to unburden yourself of your trauma.  Some are doing it because there is a genuine desire to help, exposing you to the details of your trauma by retelling it does over time and with repetition, reduce the power it has over your body and mind.  Some do it because they are nosy bastards and want the details to get a vicarious rush from it all: aka, trauma whores.  Others are peers who know that by walking with you and keeping you going, talking, that you will gradually get through the darkness into the light. Exposure therapy is the cusp of the argument to share your trauma story.  Expose you to it as often as we can and slowly, bit by bit, it will be reduced…

What worries me about yesterday’s act of mass murder #TorontoAttack

There’s an old meme that comes to mind as I type. It describes a new atrocity with the …. don’t jump to conclusions … and …. follows it with “…. the Muslim did it” Part of me truly wishes the Muslim had done it.  Shocking I know, but breath and let me explain. We understand extreme ideologies and let’s be clear acts of violence like this done for ideological reasons are not done by run of the mill devotees but those that have been radicalized.  The great advantage we have over this type of terror is that we for the most part can with enough money and focus dig out those radical factors, watch them and stop them. Over the last three years I have become more and more concerned about the disenfranchised of our society.  Western society.  When I see posts like “My son is a future rapist” or…

Dealing with the trauma of the #TorontoAttack

For most of my life I have had an irrational fear of smells, sounds, things and touch which my brain had stored away as “warning signs” that bad stuff was about to happen.  EMDR unlocked pandora box after pandora box of stacked horrors neatly stored behind the walls that my brain and body had carefully crafted to keep me alive.  This is what we refer to as Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My earliest trauma that we could access was my mother using, the vehicle I was in, as a weapon. For those of you who have been part of or witness to this appalling horror in Toronto where an unhinged human used his van as a weapon, I can only help by providing you with the tools, the experience and the ways to fight back that I have learnt. ANGER & RAGE If you are a cop, a firefighter…