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#suicide

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Thinking about suicide is not what kills us

Drive faster. If that semi swerved. If I wait for that train. Over and over again our brains give us “outs”.  Stand too close the edge, who would know if I meant to or if it was an accident?  How old do the girls need to be before they don’t need me anymore? The truth that nobody, and I mean nobody, will tell you is that we all have suicide thoughts.  Yup.  Every single sentient human that has suffered or been exposed to real trauma.  Why?  Because we have had to face death: in ourselves or in others, up close and personal.  It changes us.  Ignoring this fact and pretending like it is in someway “shocking” is asinine BS.  Death no longer holds a mystique or fear for us, we have seen it and we have watched it.  We survived it.  Yet it holds us. My young cousin died…

What's going on with Kate? #PTSDChat

Please note this is not about any one person in my life or experience; what I give here in the 8 things that are going on could be any person with PTSD.  Pick a number.  Dr Jonathan Douglas has been super kind to add some words of wisdom on the first point: if you have PTSD or somebody you love with this brain injury, it’s worth the time it takes to read and think about what he says. In the last few weeks I have been called a “racist” about 17 times on average before breakfast.  A few death threats before lunch and well, ain’t life grand?  Worst of all, I find a delicious enjoyment from poking that dangerous viper’s nest.  I was called a “racist c*nt” this morning for a post on Obama effectively painting a target on cops backs over the last 8 years, a normal person…

Huffington Post UK : EPIC Fail on PTSD Euthanasia Story

“Netherlands Sex Abuse Victim with ‘Incurable’ PTSD Allowed to Die By Euthanasia” I read it and the tears streamed down my face unwanted and unbidden. The day before my friendship with somebody I have cared for, supported and loved dearly ended.  A first responder with PTSD, who a month earlier had told me of suicide plans.  A month had gone by, each day I’d woken up with the same thought – is today the day I lose my friend?  Others would have simply hit 911, or dropped a dime as the phrase goes; but I know that the moment you do that your friendship is over, trust gone and unless there is support ready to step in all that does is delay the inevitable.  Even knowing for a month how things would end, it burned and it burns.  If that support is in place, and you’ve taken steps to ensure…

BOUNDARIES #PTSDChat

“What are Boundaries?” I’m sitting in Eileen’s consultation room, her comfy sofa with tissue box close to hand and ubiquitous bottle of water to refill the my ever ready tear ducts.  We had been talking about a friendship I had with a Mum from my children’s school.  That “friend” had taken my phone, read through all my texts, deleted some and seemed to feel entitled to do so (her husband and I were also good friends, I had helped with a fundraiser which clearly had not sat well with her).  I had no reason to doubt her right to do as she did until Eileen patiently explained what a “boundary” was. The concept of “boundary” is still an alien one to me, but I have learnt a wee mantra to help me with it. Would I do it/say it? Does it make me feel safe? Where do I feel this…