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Valentines Day Bollox: ain’t love grand

In Rome, from February 13 to 15, people celebrated the feast of Lupercalia: men sacrificed a goat and a dog, whipped women with the hides of animals and women lined up to be whipped as they believed it increased their fertility.  It all got a bit muddled when Emperor Claudius II executed two Christians both named Valentine on February 14 over two separate years in the third century: their martyrdom was celebrated by the church.  Keeping up so far? Pope Gelasius I gets busy in the fifth century combining St Valentine’s day with the feast of Lupercalia, “It was a little more of a drunken revel, but the Christians put clothes back on it.  That didn’t stop it from being a day of fertility and love.”  Then the Normans throw an oar in the mix with Galatin’s Day: Galatin meaning “lover of women”.  This is all before Chaucer and Shakespeare…

How to help a PTSD Brain: the do’ and don’ts

I’m in a unique position of having to take my own advice and I don’t really wanna. I’d like to tell some folks what to do, and what not to do, but I just finished a blog and posted it last week about that very thing. The risk of telling people definitively what works and what doesn’t. Instead of do and don’t do, I’m going to tailor it. Here goes. I’m going to call them “perhaps you oughtas” and “ WTF were you thinking.” Perhaps you oughta give them some time to get their groove back.  Let me tell you a little story. No trauma porn*, but a coping story or rather one that highlights a failure in coping. One normal day in 2014, I found myself with a wobbly tire on Highway 99. Highway 99 is of no significance really, other than having extremely small shoulders on the…

PTSD Triggered: First Hand Experience of BOTH SIDES

“You were born into this.  There are guys out there at 40 who are trying to figure this out for the first time.  Some think that they have to “snap” you out of this.  Shove a coke in your hand or a coffee.” Sitting at the counter of our kitchen whilst he preps supper we are talking about how to tackle this subject effectively.  I am shocked.  Who’d be so ignorant as to try to “snap” a person in a full PTSD episode back to the here and now?  Oh. Right then. Quite a lot of people apparently.  My bad. So don’t do that.  Like, seriously, DON’T.  The most that you can do if you witness another person in a full PTSD episode is to protect them as best you can from hurting themselves, be patient, kind and non-reactive.  By your presence, gentle and calm, try to reassure them…

BLUF Bottom Line Up Front

This is something thats helped me in handling those around me that I want to keep around me.  There’s a difference of course as for most people I come into day to day contact with, I don’t care if they stay around me.  Once I’m done inspecting their hands, then eyes, then checking if they have a backpack or not (yes hyper vigilance is one of my gifts to myself) I file them away into the ‘won’t remember them’ file.  I’m not talking about those people.  I’m talking about the ones around you that you love and they love you back.  And you want them to stay in your life, and they want to stay in yours. But they don’t know what to do and you don’t know how to bring them around to what actually helps. I recommend an old army adage.  The BLUF.  Not the bluffing that…