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#ptsdawareness

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TRIGGER WARNING What happens when all we see is RACE and HATE? #PTSDChat

She was screaming with blood streaming down her little frame, her nanny running towards the barracks at the border post calling for help in shona, her beautiful dark skin now grey, covered in the small red head’s blood that was congealing to a dark black smudge under the hot sun.  They went back to find what was left of the “garden boys” who had defended the little white girl from the machetes.  Her little bicycle was also found.  I didn’t see my sister much after that, they sent her to boarding school in Salisbury where she lived out the rest of the war separated from my brother and I who remained on the coffee estate that straddled the Mozambique Rhodesian border.  The year was 1972. When I was frightened it was big dark hands that picked me up and took me to a quiet shady spot, distracted and played with…

#PTSDChat TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

How do you know that you are in a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? ANY relationship: friend, family, lover, spouse, child, parent… There is a very simple test I use and it is this: do I feel better for being with this person or am I really grateful when they leave or I get to escape? I do a body check.  I know what stress feels like in my body, something that has become incredibly important for me as stress floors me physically, at 46 I can no longer tolerate the nuclear doses of stress hormones my body releases at the first flick of the stress switch.  If I feel that I have anxiety around the person, I have one of two choices: first off I ask, can I simply moonwalk away without being noticed?; if not then, I do the distract and dash. Clearly the moonwalk out the back door without being…

Huffington Post UK : EPIC Fail on PTSD Euthanasia Story

“Netherlands Sex Abuse Victim with ‘Incurable’ PTSD Allowed to Die By Euthanasia” I read it and the tears streamed down my face unwanted and unbidden. The day before my friendship with somebody I have cared for, supported and loved dearly ended.  A first responder with PTSD, who a month earlier had told me of suicide plans.  A month had gone by, each day I’d woken up with the same thought – is today the day I lose my friend?  Others would have simply hit 911, or dropped a dime as the phrase goes; but I know that the moment you do that your friendship is over, trust gone and unless there is support ready to step in all that does is delay the inevitable.  Even knowing for a month how things would end, it burned and it burns.  If that support is in place, and you’ve taken steps to ensure…

BOUNDARIES #PTSDChat

“What are Boundaries?” I’m sitting in Eileen’s consultation room, her comfy sofa with tissue box close to hand and ubiquitous bottle of water to refill the my ever ready tear ducts.  We had been talking about a friendship I had with a Mum from my children’s school.  That “friend” had taken my phone, read through all my texts, deleted some and seemed to feel entitled to do so (her husband and I were also good friends, I had helped with a fundraiser which clearly had not sat well with her).  I had no reason to doubt her right to do as she did until Eileen patiently explained what a “boundary” was. The concept of “boundary” is still an alien one to me, but I have learnt a wee mantra to help me with it. Would I do it/say it? Does it make me feel safe? Where do I feel this…