Before I started #PTSDChat with Rebecca I was as ignorant as any other on the subject of male rape, false accusations of rape and why an organization like MGTOW exists. In fact, other than to smile to myself at the ridiculousness of all humans, I wasn’t much interested in politics, social or otherwise.
All changed with #PTSDChat.
The first time a man opened up to me, I was the first person he had ever shared his trauma with, it knocked me on my ass. Literally. I faint when stressed. Fortunately it was by phone so I passed it off as simply letting the phone slip and carried on. It was the first trickle of what became a flood of suppressed experiences that had haunted and hurt these men throughout their lives. I discussed it with every expert I could find in the field, they were as shocked as I that there could truly be that number of male victims of assault and rape out there.
All the information and research on rape is focused almost entirely on women. Look at the domestic abuse shelters, try to find one that will take a man or god forbid, one dedicated to male victims of abuse. 1 in 3 women will suffer domestic abuse in their lives, 1 in 4 men. That’s an Australian statistic and not one that is readily accepted by the Feminists who continue to fight to kill the documentary Red Pill. Something I encourage everybody to watch.
It is a documentary on male abuse and exactly tracks my experience on this issue. It is shocking and elucidating, as is the viciousness with which it has been received by Feminists.
Over the time I was dedicated full time to #PTSDChat I came to know a great many cops, custody officers, social workers and those involved in the advocacy of victims. A very clear picture took shape. One that left me both shocked and horrified.
Not only do boys and men suffer rape, assault and abuse at an on par rate as women (if perhaps slightly below) they are considered expendable.
As this dawned on me a lot of other things came up for me. I have taken my sabbatical from the world and am back with this new mission. To bring to light, and get as much support for men as there is for women. The one DOES NOT subtract from the other despite what Feminists will yell.
Nothing exemplifies the issue more than Madonna sticking her tongue down Drake’s throat recently. Think about how that would have been had the sexes been reversed. Then read the headlines on it. And think some more.
I have kept a tally of sentences handed to perpetrators of abuse, most recently in the abuse and death of toddlers in Canada and the US. It is horrifying. Women who kill and abuse toddlers are given suspended sentences or sent to a lodge for the period of their sentence. Men are given life.
The view that women are victims not abusers is so deeply entrenched even years of study and a lifetime of legal experience can’t shake it from our judiciary. The toddlers in the case of the women? Were all male.
I understand what a huge battle it will be to chip away at the dogma of Feminism: I’ve faced my fair share of online abuse – whilst staying off my public pages I remained on private pages trying to figure my way through these many thoughts and issues that confused me. I’ve had women tell my boyfriend that he “scraped the bottom of the barrel” in choosing me, “god help your poor sweet girls if something like that should ever befall them[referencing my girls being RAPED!], because it seems to me that the one person in the world who they should most be able to trust to help them … probably won’t even believe them, or blame them [me]” (that one was finished with a sad face emoji). I was told yesterday that I’m a woman therefore I must be a Feminist and stop spouting this pro-male nonsense. Which made me laugh out loud as it would appear that whilst I can choose my gender, nay my species these days, I cannot choose whether or not to be a Feminist.
In the end I have come to realize that to be pro-male, to care about male issues is viewed as nothing short of a betrayal of my sex.
Of my children.
Clearly by caring about false accusations of rape (and here I am thinking of (amongst hundreds of cases throughout North America) that US cop who did two decades in jail, released when his accuser admitted she’d made it up) and the impact they have on all people’s ability to report real events and seek closure, etc I am in fact signaling that I will allow my own girls to be raped and not care a damn about them. So goes the Feminist rhetoric I have experienced since dabbling my toe in these murky waters.
Is it a betrayal of women to care about men’s issues?
Here I have studied the very ethos of left wing and liberal thought processes which are the backbone of Feminist ideology. The entirety of which appear to me at least, to be centered around ‘me’. My thoughts. My feelings. My wishes. There is nothing in the transgender spectrum of “what happens to our society if I …” nor is there a modicum of care given to the impact of the individual rights trumping state, or society as a whole.
It never ceases to amaze me that tomorrow is so irrelevant to so many people. Tomorrow our children inherit our earth. Science has told us that we need to do such mundane things as reproduce at a rate of 2.3 every generation. Economics teaches us that to continue to spend as we are will leave our children bankrupted. Environmental science is telling us to smarten up. Anthropological science teaches us we all have a common ancestor (in Africa although there is now some debate on this). So on and on. Only one of these is of interest to the liberal left wing mindset from what I have observed and even then only bits of it.
Unless a Feminist steps back and cares about all humanity’s tomorrows it is impossible to view the focus on male issues as anything BUT anti-feminist.
I have even read the articles written by mothers of boys one famously calling her young sons rapists, and the above comment on my girls was written by a mother of two young boys. Having boys or loving a man makes no difference to the view that male issues are irrelevant.
I dug a little deeper.
I looked at how things are reported in the media. How google searches work when we type certain things in. It is all without exception entirely Feminist focused, all is viewed from one perspective and one only.
I spoke to University Professors and trained Psychologists, who quietly and off record admitted that it is a grind to get any focus back to male issues, or male treatments, or anything that is in any way fair to half of our society.
I see that a lot these days.
I think it’s an asinine thought. Fair is irrelevant. What matters is our future, our children’s future. Treating boys and men as expendable does nobody any good. They are not disposable.
Boko Haram… the Canadian Indigenous Missing women and girls… the Syrian Christian girls sold or burnt … as I researched and read reports of atrocities across the globe a very clear picture appeared. To read these stories one would assume that there were no male victims. No male casualties. Yet the truth is the male victims vastly out numbered (in most cases) the females. But not once were they mentioned.
No wonder it takes decades for men to come forward and talk about their assaults. Their rapes. To seek help.
So, I’m back. And I’m determined to see a voice given to men as loudly as that given to women, even if I end up with a bloody nose and faint a few times along the way. I love women, I love my girlfriends and if anybody ever hurt my girls the only thing anybody would find of the perpetrator would be their missing person’s report.
Did you catch my use of the word ‘their’?
I don’t see all men as rapists nor do I view all women as victims. Women assault men and boys. That’s a fact. Women assault girls and other women. It’s time we took that one on board.
Caring about MALE issues and highlighting their plight, their treatment, does not make me anti-women, it does make me vehemently anti-Feminist as the ideology currently stands, I see it as a very toxic nasty one with no balance.
On the “false accusations”: why is this an important issue to combat as a society?
Other than the obvious, ruining an innocent man or boy’s life there is a far more insidious impact. It cheapens the very real, traumatic and life altering event of rape. It trivializes it. This is an event that literally takes a life, the life that could have been. No human is the same after being raped. Male or female.
The ‘rape culture on campus’ is one that I’ve studied most. DOJ statistics do not back up the claims made about this by any stretch. Canadian data doesn’t support it. Much of the information given on this is from dubious sources and do not check out. If I close my eyes and accept that 1 in 4 women on campus are raped (not assaulted but raped, so 25% of the female population on American campus are raped) then where are the stats for male victims of rape? Or assault. Or are we to swallow that number, follow it up with funding for female only victims and accept that there are no male victims. That indeed, men are rapists and women are victims.
That, is in fact, exactly what we are to believe. God help anyone who questions it! The wrath of the believers shalt be upon you.
Is it really so very wrong headed, or stuck in my echo chamber, of me to question the veracity of any of this? To in fact shout very loudly that we need to quit it and get a grip? Men are not marrying. Men are not engaging with women. Men are not flirting with women at work for fear of accusations of a through z. Men on campus must live in fear of being accused of rape (so now do they need a bodycam as cops do to prove innocence?). Men are angry and to be honest, I don’t blame them.
It’s time to grow as a society and allow men equal rights, equal support and equal voice.
Equal and I will start with this issue of rape and assault.
I will finish this post by saying this: not all men are rapists in waiting and not all women are victims in waiting; to care about male abuse is not to stop caring about female abuse. Rape is a terrible, life shattering event and quite honestly I don’t think in Canada it is taken seriously enough. I’ve seen far too many judges blame the victims of rape in their sentencing and I see a jadedness across the board, a domestic abuse case takes upwards of a cop’s entire shift to process and a rape case, they might as well turn their radios off for the week that’s the amount of paperwork involved. I have been horrified by the process my friends in the military in Australia, Canada and the US have been put through to seek justice for rape. My friends. Both genders. But here’s the thing, search and try to find how many men in the military are reporting rape vs women? And of those who receives our empathy?
Anybody making a false accusation not only commits a crime against the person they have accused but against every single rape victim alive today. It is something we need to take far more seriously than we do.
But for now.
Let’s work on equal voices for male and female victims of abuse and rape. Whilst SIMULTANEOUSLY killing this notion that men are inherently dangerous or rapists, something you will find repeated in Feminist blogs, websites and social media.